• What role will your values play in the counseling process? Select a specific value that you hold and discuss how that value might work for you or against you (and your client). Discuss a specific value conflict, which could arise between you as a counselor and a client, and discuss in depth the issues that are involved in resolving and dealing with this value conflict.
• What role will your reaction patterns (ways that you respond—your thoughts, feelings, and actions—to particular kinds of situations) play in the counseling process? Describe a particular reaction pattern that might prove a challenge to you as a counselor.
The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping
Eleventh Edition
Chapter 9
The Three Tasks of Stage I: Help Clients Tell the Story, the Real Story, and the Right Story
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
1
The Skilled Helper Model: Stage I
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© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Stage I Tasks: Help Clients Explore Their Concerns
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© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Three Tasks of Stage I: To Help Clients Understand Themselves, their Problems, and their Unused Opportunities (1 of 2)
Task A:
Help clients tell their stories in terms of problem situations and unused opportunities. The questions here are, “What’s going on?” “What are my concerns?” “What are the issues?”
Task B:
Help clients develop new perspectives and reframe their stories. Help clients identify and clarify the critical elements of the problem situation or unused opportunity. This often means helping clients identify blind spots, develop new perspectives, and reframe the story itself. The questions here are, “What’s really going on? What are my real concerns? What am I failing to see? What are the critical elements of the story?” A judicious use of challenging skills is needed here.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Three Tasks of Stage I: To Help Clients Understand Themselves, their Problems, and their Unused Opportunities (2 of 2)
Task C:
Help clients stay focused on issues that will make a difference in their lives. Clients often have multiple problems. If that is the case, help clients work on substantive issues. The questions here are, “What are my key concerns?” “What should I work on?” “What will make a difference in my life?”
Solution focused: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T33j_ZETzUs
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Task I-A: Learn Ways of Helping Clients Tell Their Stories (1 of 2)
Help the client feel safe in the helping encounter.
Learn to work with all styles of storytelling.
Start where the client start
Assess the severity of the client’s problems.
Help clients identify and clarify key issues.
Help clients explore the context of their concerns.
Help clients talk productively about the past.
Help clients talk about the past to make sense of the present.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Task I-A: Learn Ways of Helping Clients Tell Their Stories (2 of 2)
Help clients talk about the past to be reconciled to or liberated from it.
Help clients talk about the past in order to prepare for action in the future.
Right from the beginning, help clients spot unused opportunities.
Help clients see every problem as an opportunity.
As clients tell their stories, help them search for unused resources.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Help Clients Talk Productively About the Past
Help clients talk about the past to make sense of the present.
Help clients talk about the past to be reconciled to or liberated from it.
Help clients talk about the past in order to prepare for action in the future.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
As Clients Tell Their Stories, Help Them Search for Unused Resources
Skilled helpers are quick to spot clients’ resources, both within and around them.
Resources they are using
Resources they are not using
Resources they are misusing
Resources they are abusing
The storytelling process should always include helping clients find the opportunities embedded in any problem situation.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Guidelines for Stage I
Establish a Working Alliance
Help Clients Tell Their Stories
Build Ongoing Client Assessment into the Helping Process
Help Clients Move to Action
Establish a Feedback and Evaluation System
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping
Eleventh Edition
Chapter 5
Empathic Responding: Work at Mutual Understanding
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
1
Responding Skills
Helpers respond to clients by sharing their understanding, checking to make sure they got things right, probing for clarity, summarizing the issues being discussed, and helping clients challenge themselves in a variety of ways.
The ability to express empathy is important because we all want to be understood and we function better when we are understood.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Empathic Relationships
The therapeutic alliance should be an empathic relationship. The skill and practice of communicating empathy to clients should not be a means to an end, but an integral part of the therapeutic relationship throughout the helping process.
Empathy now can be seen as a value, as a communication skill, and as a mode of treatment in itself.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Three Dimensions of Responding Skills
Perceptiveness: Accuracy of perceptions
Know-How: Ability to translate perceptions into words
Assertiveness: Delivering responses into the therapeutic dialogue
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
The Basic Formula for Communicating Empathic Understanding
You feel . . .
[here name the correct emotion expressed by the client].
. . .because . . .
[here indicate the correct thoughts, experiences, and behaviors that give rise to the feelings].\
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© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Respond Accurately to Clients’ Feelings, Emotions, and Moods
Use the right family of emotions and the right intensity
Distinguish between expressed and discussed feelings
Read and respond to feelings and emotions embedded in clients’ nonverbal behavior
Be sensitive in naming emotions
Use variety in responding to clients’ feelings and emotions
Neither overemphasize nor underemphasize feelings, emotions, and moods
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Respond Accurately to the Key Experiences, Thoughts, and Behaviors in Clients’ Stories
Key experiences, thoughts, and behaviors give rise to clients’ feelings, emotions, and moods. They are also important parts of clients’ stories in themselves.
The “because…” in the empathic-response formula links all of these elements together.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
More on communicating empathy
Respond selectively to client messages
Sometimes you must pay attention to one or two messages even though the client communicates many. This can help clients identify their core issues.
Sometimes you focus on experiences OR actions OR feelings rather than all three.
Respond to the context, not just to the words
Take into account not just the client’s immediate words and nonverbal behavior but also everything that “surrounds” and permeates a client’s statement.
The context modifies everything the client says.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Learn How to Recover from Inaccurate Understanding
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© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
The Shadow Side of Responding
No response
Distracting questions
Clichés
Interpretations
Advice
Parroting
Agreement and sympathy
Faking it
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
The Skilled Helper: A Problem-Management & Opportunity-Development Approach to Helping
Eleventh Edition
Chapter 4
Therapeutic Presence: Tune In to Clients and Listen Carefully
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
1
The Skills of Physically Tuning In to Clients
SOLER
S: Face the client Squarely
O: Adopt an Open posture
L: Remember that it is possible at times to Lean toward the other person
E: Maintain good Eye contact
R: Try to be relatively Relaxed, or natural, in these behaviors.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Nonverbal Channels of Communication of Helper and Client in the Therapeutic Dialogue (1 of 2)
Bodily behavior: posture, body movements, and gestures
Eye behavior: eye contact, staring, eye movement
Facial expressions: smiles, frowns, raised eyebrows, and twisted lips
Voice-related behavior: tone of voice, pitch, volume, intensity, inflection, spacing of words, emphases, pauses, silences, fluency
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Nonverbal Channels of Communication of Helper and Client in the Therapeutic Dialogue (2 of 2)
Observable autonomic physiological responses: quickened breathing, blushing, paleness, pupil dilation
Physical characteristics: fitness, height, weight, and complexion
Space: distance a person chooses to be during a conversation
General appearance: grooming and dress
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Self-Questions for Helpers on Visibly Tuning In to Clients
What are my attitudes toward this client?
How would I rate the quality of my presence to this client?
In what ways am I distracted from giving my full attention to this client?
What am I doing to handle these distractions? How might I be more effectively present to this person?
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Forms of Poor Listening
Non-listening
Partial listening
Audio-recorder listening
Rehearsing
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Carl Rogers’s Definition of Empathic Listening
It means entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it. It involves being sensitive, moment by moment, to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person, to the fear or rage or tenderness or confusion or whatever that he or she is experiencing. It means temporarily living in the other’s life, moving about in it delicately without making judgments. (1980, p. 142)
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Listen Carefully to Clients’ Stories
Clients talk about:
Clients’ Experiences
What happens to them
Clients’ Thoughts
The way they think, their points of view, what thoughts go through their minds
Clients’ Behavior
What they do and don’t do
Clients’ Affect
Their feelings and moods associated with their experiences and behavior
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Listen to clients’ nonverbal messages and modifiers
Confirming or repeating
Denying or confusing
Strengthening or emphasizing
Adding intensity
Controlling or regulating
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
Distorted Listening: The Shadow Side of Helping
Filtered listening
Evaluative listening
Stereotype-based listening
Fact-centered rather than person-centered listening
Sympathetic listening
Falling for myths about nonverbal behavior
Interrupting that does not promote dialogue
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
© 2019 Cengage. All rights reserved.
